RODENT A LA CARTE

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I’m not very fond of rodents. But I do like to see backyard squirrels scamper about, twitch their tails, and eat nuts. Occasionally, in Manhattan, I used to see a mouse down on the subway tracks, and once we had a mouse family that took up a short residence in our house till we kicked them out. But I don’t think I’ve ever seen a live rat—and never hope to see one.

But there is a form of rat that I find to be an interesting—shall we say, occasionally bizarre and amusing–feature in the urban and suburban landscape. I understand that sometimes protesting labor unions will contact a rent-a-rat-balloon company when they want to dramatically enhance their picket line. (Big Sky Balloons and Searchlight Company, creator of “Scabby the Rat,” seems to operate the major franchise: “Rats range from 6 ft. to 25 ft. tall!”) Without suggesting any sort of political opinion here, I admit that I enjoy these visually striking (pun intended) rodent visitations.

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Recently, as we sat for an informal luncheon in a Long Island diner, I had a spectacular window view of an immense blow-up rodent protesting something or other across the street.  I do believe that radio monologist Jean Shepherd, sharp-eyed observer of the passing scene, would have rendered an elaborate discourse regarding a street denizen such as a 25 ft. tall rat named Scabby. But, when the diner’s waiter approached my wife an me, before ordering iced tea and a short stack, as the irritatingly quirky person I sometimes am, I casually looked him in the eye and said, “I like the rat.”

The next time we visited that diner and had the same scenic window view,

something was missing.

As we paid the cashier after our otherwise fine repast, I politely complained,

“Where’s the rat?”

.

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