And it’s not just a silly kid’s Christmas movie and it’s good despite the fact that it’s popular. Listen, is Huckleberry Finn popular with a mass audience or not? And Huck isn’t just a kid on a raft, right? Twain had something more in mind, right? Saying something important about our society, right? You know my Christmas story is an anti-war parable? And the kid has the opposite of the “Christmas spirit.” He just wants stuff—presents—and the ultimate present that can shoot his eye out. Except for the sappy ending, that’s what the movie’s about.
And right now I’ve got two irons in the fire. A major movie deal and a network TV show. Just waiting for my agent to call with the final deal. Isn’t the phone supposed to ring now?
The big deal. But do you remember when I just got started? The stories of my kid-hood? Remember them from Playboy? Remember them from my best-selling novels? I did them first on radio. Remember how I would talk and it would just pour out of me and I’d be really moving with it? Out of nowhere weaving filaments of gold! Hairs on the back of my neck standing up.
We combined some of them into A Christmas Story and I’m narrating. My style—makes it really personal, like I’m really telling the story just to each of you—get it? It’s what I always did on….
Hairs on the back of my neck.
Yeah, radio. No. (Pause.)
Wherefore art thou, radio?
(More to come.)