Sometimes Shep is criticized–even by his fans–for some of the habits that he seems to enjoy immensely. He must imagine that his fans enjoy his comments and actions as much as he does. This is mainly true–I can’t think of anything he does that I don’t like. He chose January 1, 1975 to ironically list his New Year’s resolutions, making a straight-faced joke out of the occasion. The list, at the same time, results in a nice catalog of some aspects of his idiosyncratic radio style. The following, from that broadcast, is a partial list from Jim Clavin’s http://www.flicklives.com website.
He will stop making snide remarks.
He will practice liking Victor Borge, laughing at Phyllis Diller and Don Rickles, and loving Zsa Zsa Gabor.
He will erase his ling-term memory that will keep him out of trouble when people contradict themselves, and he wants a button-activated memory-eraser.
He will work hard to increase his intolerance and hate, as being a loving human being never pays off.
He will learn to respect critics because they’re becoming more important than what they criticize.
He is going to work hard on his pragmatism so he can get away with things.
He will start giving the time continually on his show.
He will do interviews.
He will install phones and answer each call that comes into his show.
He will play popular records.
He will give live commercials with sincerity in his voice.
He will say good things about radio.
He will work on proper gratitude and walk respectfully.
He will learn to respect his “betters.”
He will throw out his kazoo, jews harp, and nose flute.
He will no longer sing ridiculous songs.
He will avoid mentioning any cultural differences between the Midwest and the East.
He will pretend he enjoys Broadway musicals.
He sings “The Bear Missed the Train” one last time and throws out his instruments. He closes with several snide remarks. Fortunately, no matter how much he was criticized, he never kept his New Year’s resolutions–which were just a joke anyway.
I think I may have made a couple of resolutions many decades ago, but I can’t remember that I kept any of them. I have never regretted my lack of resolution–have you?–eb
HAPPY NEW YEAR